I’m constantly struggling to break free from the habit of overthinking, which is a root source of my unproductivity. I attempt to remedy this by researching things that inspire me, and to find ways to be more productive. I then overwhelm myself with information and spend time meditating on what I consumed, seeking application for my goals. I then sit down at my desk and intensely overthink everything… Research, meditate, struggle, repeat.
I’m still in the Vortex.
The Vortex is a simple concept: I am spiraling around a “destiny”. At this point I’m in too deep to escape the riptide, too scared to swim with the current. The identity of the Vortex I am caught in is one of two: The “Wormhole Vortex Destiny” or the “Toilet Vortex Destiny”.
The “Wormhole Vortex Destiny” is the implication that while I’m spiraling around the ins-and-outs of this project, I am gathering information and resources. Ideally, all that spiraling will lead me to the center of the Vortex, where I’ll enter into another dimension of new potential. The new world of challenge. The next step. What’s on the other side? I’m not sure! But, it’s probably better than where I am now.
The “Toilet Vortex Destiny” is the implication that by the time I reach the center of the Vortex, I’ll realize that all this time and energy spent is a gigantic waste and needs to be flushed down the drain.
Despite the crude nature of the “Toilet Vortex Destiny”, my feelings are that both outcomes could be potentially good. I need to move on with my life one way or another, even if that means accepting this project’s future is in the water closet.
That being said, I‘m making the efforts to actualize the “Wormhole Vortex Destiny” as being the truer outcome. Even if it is slow, I am still making progress towards the DOING. I have the script. I have the ability to draw (it will need refinement, but that will come with application). I have to make a decision on format now, which is annoyingly tricky because I’m technically choosing an audience.
I could do Webtoon format, which is designed for viewing on a phone. It’s not my favorite format on a visual level, but Webtoons certainly gets traffic. It would probably kick my ass in to gear to meet deadlines, too. The audience problem here is that my research has shown me that the primary demographic of Webtoons.com is mostly pre-teen to early teens. This is not a bad audience for my project, but it isn’t my ideal age group. Also, Webtoons.com has quite a few guidelines that may not fit with this comic’s intended tone. Sort of related to that, some of the subject matter I plan to instill would be what I would refer to as “some rather lofty-ass bullshit”, which may not be compelling or engaging to a younger crowd. All in all: overthinking is idiotic and this really might be the avenue I end up taking.
ALTERNATIVELY, I could do a more standardized format, which would be my preference. It prints nicer. The content feels “weightier” on a full page. There’s something a little more genuine about standard page format that just appeals to me. Also, I’m a fan of the golden-age style of comics and I would like to play with the dynamism which the style allows for. I’m not seeing a lot of room for that kind of panel-busting in webtoon format. This is nuanced. I think my dilemma here is that I have the opportunity to build an audience much more organically, but it will be much much slower.
My big goal for completing ACT I would be to hold the printed version in my hands for the first time. From what I can tell, the webtoon format is really not very print-friendly, but the truth of that will have to come with more research.
I have to decide, or I’ll still be stuck in the vortex. If you’re an ambitious and goal-oriented person, then decisions like this are not supposed to put your projects on a hiatus-like standstill. You ponder, you weight the options, you go “Okay, we’re going to do it this way!” and you get your ass to work. Is that right? I think that’s right.
Funny how powerful writing about this is. I feel like I’m working through the problems as I put them on paper. It’s therapeutic. It gets these thoughts out of my head and onto the workbench. This helps me come to better conclusions, I think.
This next month or so is going to be filled with lots of events. All of them will challenge me to make wiser time choices.
Fingers crossed.
❤Casey